Relationship Concerns

Relationships

 

 

Do you wish you could go back to a time in your relationship when you felt loved and valued?  Losing that once felt connection is a lonely and painful experience.  You and your partner are now walking separate paths.  You could be avoiding, ignoring, arguing, fighting, or intentionally seeking ways to hurt.  Maybe your partner has violated trust in some ways.  Is there an affair, too much involvement with work, family, or outside influences?  Perhaps alcohol, drug use or illness is a problem. Whatever the situation, you and your partner are traveling different paths.  It seems that the harder you try to engage, the more distant the relationship.

Communication has changed, and not for the better.  Isolation, fighting, insults increase.  Neither sees the other’s side.  It doesn’t feel good.  It doesn’t reflect the best of you, and you often wonder how this can change.

Ups and Downs Can Be Expected

Everyone has their ups and their downs.  Sometimes it’s like a rollercoaster ride where you are begging to get off.  Other times may be so slow and cold that you wish for speed with friction.  People grow in different ways and not always at the same time.  This can cause some tension.  While this can be a short-lived experience, it becomes a weak link if not resolved.  Crisis can either strengthen a relationship, or it can send it into what seems like a never-ending storm. What you wish for is a rainbow at the end of the storm.

Therapy Can Help You Revive Your Relationship

When the storm doesn’t go away is when you realize that professional intervention is necessary.  Behavioral and communication styles are like a whirlwind.  It doesn’t stop.  For some, therapy is to help move the relationship toward, closeness, meaning, and intimacy.  For others, it’s to help them move apart.  Whatever the goal, it is designed to help both with their needs.

Often, counseling can help by identifying and reinforcing your strengths.  I offer a safe environment to explore your challenges.  In a collaborative way, hurts are healed and a bridge of connection that compliments the relationship begins. This is done in a supportive and sensitive way.

Counseling can also have an added benefit of improving relationships with children, extended family, and even friends who are aware of the conflicts they see.  The family is like a mobile of butterflies.  When one butterfly is weighed down or out of sorts, the other butterflies lose their spot on the balance.  It is a family affair.

In counseling, you will be met with a compassionate counselor with extensive experience in helping you with your challenges and needs.  Importance is placed upon each person feeling safe in the session and away from the session.

Each person’s needs, worries and wishes are evaluated.  The approach is hopeful and optimistic with sensitivity to your needs.

Can Counseling Be Expensive?

Counseling can be expensive.  Some couples split the fee, or pay through health savings cards, PayPal or credit cards. 

It is designed to increase the connection and provide ways to problem solve.  These new skills will be of benefit long after the counseling.  Counseling is an investment to build the relationship and avoid the damaging and high costs of divorce proceedings.  The cost of a divorce in Ohio ranges from $4000 to $12,500.  Attorney fees average $9,900.

Counseling offers solution-focused ways that can save families and provide a model of positive communication for their children. 

 What If My Partner Refuses to Come?

What if one partner refuses counseling?  This is a common concern.  You can still come alone, and do what work is necessary for you to begin to get your needs met.  The experience will be safe and a way for you to have support and a way to look at your world in a different way with new perspectives.

People make changes when they are ready.  It’s not uncommon for one person to be ready when the other is not.  Actually, taking the first step to move toward better understanding the relationship could encourage your partner to take the step with you.

What If One of the Partners Wishes to Terminate the Relationship?

Sometimes, one partner wishes to stay involved in the relationship and the other wishes to leave.  At times this is known before counseling and other times is discovered during counseling. This can be a tough situation to deal with when you consider your feelings, the time and commitment that you’ve invested in the relationship.  Anger, depression, and anxiety are common emotions when going through difficult times.  While counseling can help you move together or move apart, it is done in a way to be supportive of your journey.

How long will I have to be in Counseling? 

Counseling can be as short as 6 sessions or longer if the difficulties and patterns have been entrenched for a while.  Usually, the longer the strain on the couple, the longer the counseling.  When a couple is in crisis, generally they weekly.  As the crisis subsides, sessions are not as frequent.

Counseling Can Help to Revive Your Relationship

Counseling can help to move from the storm to find a new path for wellness with new potentials.  Are you ready to get out of the storm and find new ways to improve your relationship? Are you ready to feel differently and experience relief from the agony?  Then, call me at 513-244-6990 to schedule an appointment.  Or, email me at drcarole@changingwayz.com.  I look forward to hearing from you.

 

 

 

Dr. Carole Stokes-Brewer

Carole Stokes-Brewer
PHD, LISW-S, LICDC-CS

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